Very First Blog Post!

So this is my very first Blog post ever! I have always been a little apprehensive about putting my thoughts into cyberspace like this, but hey why not! Typing is a little easier than writing. So life lately has been a little up and down. So much has been going on I can't seem to keep up with my emotions. I don't really know how to feel sometimes, and I don't really know how to talk to anyone about it. A couple months ago my sister passed away, it was unexpected in that she overdosed. She wasn't in a good place in her life and she couldn't seem to get the help she needed. Her family definitely couldn't help her the way she needed. It breaks my heart that everything we did just wasn't enough. I miss the sister I knew, that was lovable and caring and would do anything for anyone. She would go out of her way for anyone. She baked amazing cakes and was so creative. When she was in a creative mood she could make amazing things! But then she had these down sided too, where nothing could pull her out, and that seems to be what brought her down after all.

So after my sister died, I got a new job! I left my job I been at for 6 years. A place I loved, worked with people I loved. But like most people I wanted more money. So I applied for a promotion and got it. When I moved to the new job, I was so-so happy. The job was ok. The people were nice. My boss was interesting. She was retiring. So I wasn't going to be working with her for long. But then come to find out I wouldn't be working there any longer, I was being bumped from my position. They had abolished 2 Secretary jobs, and since I was the last Secretary hired, I was the first the be let go. So I would go back to my old job. But, wait, another opportunity came up.....a Secretary III position was available at the School Police Department and they needed someone in it ASAP, and could I go there and Work Out Of Class until they find someone to get in there? I would actually make a little extra money while I do that because it is a higher position than I am qualified to do. So I said yes. Why not, right? LOL! It has been an adventure working at School Police, let me tell you!

First I have learned all about fingerprinting, making ID badges, entering payroll, overtime, peoples personal lives, REALLY personal lives, stuff you don't want to know about! This is not a place for someone who just had something bad happen to them. Someone who is already sensitive to stuff. Maybe I am too sensitive to stuff anyway, but working here is tough. Luckily I will only be here for two more weeks and then I go back to my old job, to where I originally started out. I am ready to go back to something I know how to do.

Sometimes I feel like I am lost and surrounded by people who don't understand me at all. Who think they know me but have no clue. I feel like they want me to be happy all the time, but I'm not. And I can't be. I want my life to go back to the way it was, but I know life will never be the same. It can't be. Its different now. The whole world is different, my sister is no longer in it, how can it be the same?